


Vagabernie

by Vanamiya



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Post Game, Tropes, Verdant Wind route, no beta we die like Glenn, original animal character - Freeform, the two go on a little journey together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28813326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanamiya/pseuds/Vanamiya
Summary: Felix would never have guessed to meet Bernadetta again during his travels.Or: Felix' and Bernadetta's Verdant Wind ending reimagined.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 9
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love this ship but I wasn't quite happy with their ending and decided to write my own take on one of them. I chose the Verdant Wind route for this fic because that is the only route I have finished so far.
> 
> A big thank you for everyone who decided to check this story out! I hope you enjoy.

If someone had asked Felix to make a list of all the former classmates he expected to encounter during his travels as a sellsword, his first choice would have been Leonie. After all, he knew that her ambition had been to become a mercenary like her idol. Then, perhaps, a few nobles who were the more adventurous type or those who were busy with relief efforts all over the country. After all, there was a lot of work to go around in order to build the new united kingdom of Fodlan. Afterwards came those he considered to be slackers or too high and mighty to be bothered to set one foot in front of their door. And then, finally, coming up at the very end of the list, there would have been Bernadetta. Bernadetta, who had barely even left her room as long as he had known her.

And yet. And **yet**. There she was, distant but unmistakably her, just out of earshot. Surrounded by bandits who most likely frequented this route and waited for carriages and poorly prepared nobles. It was nostalgic, really, and as he got closer, he noted with contentment that she was still master of her very special disarming technique. Still, he doubted that she stood a chance against all of them on her own and before he had even finished his thought, his sword was already in his hand and he rushed forth.

They were surrounded by trees. The thickest part of the forest was already behind them and only a few meters further, the scenery would change into open meadows with only a few remaining trees and a path that led to a quaint little village. Still, there were trees here and so, lightning magic was out of the question, unless he wanted to start a forest fire.

It didn’t matter. His blade was sharp as ever and he had the element of surprise on his side, the bandits’ attention being on the flailing and wailing Bernadetta.

He cut down the first one which made the others finally notice his presence. Not that it made much of a difference. Each second they took to pick up their weapons or draw their secondary ones was a second that cost them dearly, letting him deal with them swiftly. Felix could hear a high pitched squeak and he knew where it came from but he had no time to explain himself to Bernadetta, at least not until they were alone.

The last of the bandits made a wet gurgling noise as Felix pulled his sword out of his body, giving it a quick shake to get rid of some of the blood. Bernadetta stood still, her expression a mix of fear, awe and confusion. Then she took a deep breath, seemingly to calm her nerves yet it still ended in a little sniffle.

“Felix, you saved me! ….again. I didn’t actually want to make a habit of this I swear! It’s just they were suddenly surrounding me and- and there were so many of them! A-anyway, thank you! I know you’re already tired of saving useless Bernie, but-”

“What are you even doing here?” During Bernadetta’s little ramble, Felix had had time to truly take in her appearance. She was still dressed in the same flimsy Adrestian garments she had worn during the war but otherwise she looked ready for travel. She was carrying a heavy looking satchel, much bigger than the one he had tried to give back to her all those years ago, yet just as heavily decorated. She also had her bow with her but no horse or travel companions. It utterly puzzled Felix. Just what had happened prior to the scene he had just stumbled upon?

“I- uh…” Bernadetta cast her eyes downwards and pressed her bow close to her chest, as if it was a stuffed animal that could offer her comfort. “I’m, you know... come on Bernie, you can do this!” Another deep breath. Bernadetta met Felix’ eyes and gave him her bravest face, even going so far as to smile.

“I’ve decided I will be a new me! From now on, I’m traveling through Fodlan as Vagabond Bernie or Vagabernie””

They stared at each other. No one spoke. The caw of a crow echoed through the forest.

“That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard and I’m not calling you that.”

“Oh.” Her face fell.

“And you didn’t answer my question. What is someone like you doing out here, all alone? In former Faerghus territory, no less! Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? Go home, Bernadetta.”

A deep crease formed between Bernadetta’s brows and she gripped her bow so hard her knuckles turned white. Something was going on. Something that she had trouble speaking about. Felix should have known, really. Bernadetta, who was most comfortable while she was cooped up in her own room, didn’t just start traveling out of boredom. And now, barely more than 20 words into their first conversation after months apart, he had already said something insensitive.

“I-I can’t”, she finally choked out. “I can never go home again! I- sorry for bothering you!”

And with that, she turned away and dashed at a speed that would have been magnificent in any other context. Right now it was just bothersome. Felix knew that running after her would only tire him out but it was a possibility that she would have to catch her breath as soon as she reached that village. That was when he would ambush her to get an actual answer out of her.

After taking all of the money and valuables the bandits had carried with them, he set a brisk pace, marching towards the village. He didn’t want to give Bernadetta too much of a headstart but he also needed to sort out his thoughts. He definitely couldn’t leave Bernadetta to her own fate. If anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself. Another tally on the list of friends Felix hadn’t been able to save was just too much. Especially after… no, he didn’t want to remember that. He couldn’t.

So what was he supposed to do? She had already made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want to return home. Perhaps there was a way to help her with whatever trouble she had to make going back safer for her. If that wasn’t an option, surely there were was someone who would take her in. He just needed to protect her until they found that someone.

Just as he reached the edge of the village, he saw Bernadetta being surrounded by people. She was clearly uncomfortable with the attention, even if the villagers didn’t seem hostile. Her eyes flitted about, searching for a way out until they landed on him. She pointed at him and shouted loud enough for him to hear.

“It was him! Felix killed the bandits, not me! I was just passing by!”

Upon recognizing him, a few villagers left the group and approached him, arms wide and welcoming.

“Duke Fraldarius! Welcome to our humble village. We were just thanking your travel companion for getting rid of the bandits that kept hounding our main street. If we had known you were involved, we would have-”

“Stop this.” Felix didn’t want hear even one more word. “I rejected my claim to the title. It’s as she says, we were just passing through.”

This wasn’t even former Fraldarius territory. He always gave it a wide berth on his travels exactly because of situations like these. It was a pain that he had an uncanny resemblance to his late father and brother, perhaps he would have to stay away from Faerghus as a whole for a while. His next destinations, after the whole Bernadetta thing was over, would be former Alliance territories.

The villagers faltered under his glare, a common reaction that he welcomed in this case.

“Ah, of course. Still, we are very thankful for the service you did us. If there is anything we can do to thank you-”

“Just tell me where the inn is and we will be on our way tomorrow.”

He had been working as a mercenary ever since the end of the war so of course there would have been the option to demand payment for his services. But he hadn’t done it to save the village, he had done it to save Bernadetta, who was still his topmost priority right now. He just wanted to find a quiet place for them to talk.

One of the villagers pointed in the direction at a house that was just down the street. Without another word, Felix passed them, grabbed Bernadetta by the hand and pulled her with him as he made his way to the inn, ignoring her protests at first until she started resisting, digging her heels into the ground and trying to pull her hand free.

It probably was a terrible picture, he realized. He hadn’t even thought about explaining his intention to Bernadetta and now it looked like he was kidnapping her.

“Bernadetta.” That was enough to make her stop. He also stopped, smoothing his expression before he faced her. Her mouth opened, ready to apologize or put herself down or accuse him of trying to kill her. Thankfully he was faster this time.

“I want to talk to you. We’re going to stay at the inn today, my treat, and you will tell me what happened. Whatever it is, we can find a solution.” He did his best to sound gentle but firm. Harsh words had never worked on Bernadetta, unless you wanted to make her even more upset and self-depreciating.

Thankfully that seemed to get through her thousands of alarm bells that expected a trap at every corner. She bowed her head in defeat but didn’t try to run away anymore.

“I don’t think that anything can be done.” From the tone in her voice, Felix could hear that she was pouting now.

“Well, we will have to see about that, won’t we? Tell me, when was the last time you have eaten?”

“Uhm, my rations have been depleted for some time now but yesterday I found some berries in the forest!”

No, no he was not going to shout at her for this. He had just managed to make her come with him willingly and he was not about to ruin that. The urge to scold her poor ration management skills and the fact that she even was traveling like this was clawing at him though and he had to bite the inside of his cheek for a moment until it passed.

“A room and a meal then, got it.”

* * *

The stew was edible but nothing to write home about. Bernadetta didn’t seem to mind however, she reminded Felix of a starving beast as she made spoonful after spoonful disappear only the goddess knew where.

“Uhm, I don’t want to be rude but… are you still eating this?” She pointed at his own bowl that he had only half-finished. Without a word, he pushed it towards her. He was still hungry but he figured she needed it more than him.

They were sitting in the farthest quietest corner of the inn, far away from the bustle of the bar. Felix hoped it was quiet enough for Bernadetta to be comfortable. Though he waited until she was finished eating before he asked her any questions.

“Tell me, why can’t you go back home?”

Bernadetta looked at everything but Felix. Suddenly she was so tense that she started shaking. Her voice was small, a stark contrast to her usual loud shrieks but that only meant it was serious. She had always exaggerated about everything, however, this was different, it was the kind of fear that seeped through the bones and clung to the lungs.

“Felix, did I… ever tell you about my father?”

She had never said much but one didn’t need to hear the whole story to know that this man had been her tormentor for the longest part of her life.

“I know enough about him to dislike him. Go on.”

“Well, he…” there was a hitch in her voice. “He didn’t… like that I had joined a different class and after I went to fight with the Alliance army and came home… I...”

She shook he head like an animal shaking water out of its fur. Perhaps she was trying to shake the memories from her mind.

“I can’t, Felix. I can’t go back. My father hates me more than he ever has. My mother didn’t even look at me, she was so disappointed in me. My father said that- that he can’t even marry me off anymore because I turned my back on my own country! I have become even more unmarriagable than before! Bernie is a failure! An unmarriageable, useless failure!”

The more she spoke, the louder she got. At the end of rant, she was breathing heavily and if the bad lighting wasn’t playing tricks on him, the were unshed tears twinkling in the corners of her eyes. It sounded like that hadn’t been all that had happened upon her return to her estate but if she didn’t want to say more, he understood.

He was silent for a moment, He wasn’t good at things like comfort and consolation. Usually, he tackled those feelings with his sword. He couldn’t do that when it came to Bernadetta, however. Or could he...?

“Bernadetta.” Again, he chose a gentle but firm tone to get her attention. His mouth pressed into a thin line, thinking about what he was about to suggest. There wasn’t even an ounce of humor in his words when he continued and his voice took on an icy edge. “If you want me to kill your father, I will. Without hesitation.”

Her eyes widened and she jerked back as if it had been her he wanted to kill.

“What? No! Don’t kill my father, please! That isn’t what I want!”

Well, so much for solving Bernadetta’s problems with his sword. But it had been worth a try. At the very least, it would have been much easier if that had been what she wanted.

“I don’t hate my father.” She furrowed her brows. “Or… I don’t know. It’s complicated. All I ever wanted was for him to be proud of me and to recognize me but he never did because I’m useless. So I have to survive on my own, far away from my home. As Vagabernie.”

Felix sighed at that, both at the terrible title she gave herself and her complicated relationship with her father. He understood, to an extent. When he had still been alive, his father’s and his relationship had been strained, to say the least. Even so, he had mourned his death.

“Listen. I won’t kill your father if you don’t want me to. But if you can’t return home, there are still other places that would take you in, like the monastery or one of your friends. You don’t have to set out and try to survive on your own.”

“No, you don’t understand! I do have to! Because… th-there is another reason!”

She sounded flustered all of a sudden and Felix was trying to figure out if the flush on her cheeks was actually there or if the dim light was playing tricks on his perception.

“And what reason is that?”

Bernadetta turned away from him and with the new angle, Felix was now positive that her face was red.

“There is… someone I have to impress. So he will like me.”

Oh no. That sounded like love troubles. Another thing Felix wouldn’t be able to solve with his sword. There was a sudden pang in his chest and he knew why it was there, although he hated acknowledging it, even to himself. There had been a moment right after the war when he had considered not leaving and instead staying with Bernadetta but that had been a foolish idea, born from feelings that had no place in his life. It was better this way. It would be even easier to get over it, now that he knew that Bernadetta was coveting someone else. Then again, that guy didn’t sound like he was worth much if Bernadetta had to change herself for his approval.

“Whoever it is, if he doesn’t like you the way you are, he is probably not worth the hassle.”

“I don’t know. I thought he liked me. We spent lots of time together and he even smiled for me! He doesn’t do that often because he is pretty rude and grumpy usually. I thought I had managed to get through his hard shell but then he rejected me. I think he doesn’t like me after all or maybe he thinks I’m useless and would make a horrible wife and he would be right!”

The more Bernadetta talked about that guy, the more Felix disliked him. And he didn’t even know who it was yet or if he even knew him.

“If he does, you will be better off without him. He sounds like an irresponsible jerk and if he ever even dares to call you useless or hurt you, I will cut him down.”

Strangely enough, Bernadetta’s reaction to his threat of violence to someone she cared about wasn’t shock this time, but laughter. Felix frowned. What was so funny about his words? He hadn’t made a joke. He was dead serious! Bernadetta was his friend and ignoring his own misguided jealousy, he wanted her to be happy in the end. If that meant he would have to challenge someone to a duel, so be it.

Finally, she seemed to calm down, wiping tears from her eyes and smiling at him. Somehow, her smile looked sad. “That’s pretty impossible. But thank you, Felix.”

Felix sighed. He was already tired of this topic and didn’t want to ask what made his proposition so impossible, lest she start laughing again.

“We’re getting nowhere with the actual problem at hand. Let’s just get to our room and tomorrow we will decide in what direction I’m taking you. I still think the monastery would be our safest bet.”

Bernadetta’s nervousness came back full force. “Wait! Room? As in, one room?” Her voice gradually climbed higher until she was practically squeaking. “As in, a room where the two of us sleep together???”

Felix couldn’t help but be amused by her antics. That was the foolish Bernadetta he knew. “Exactly. I’m not letting you run off again like you did before. Besides, I’m the one paying for it. If you want your own room, buy one.”

Bernadetta deflated like a souffle, brows scrunched together as she stared down at her own hands. “I didn’t… take that much money with me. I didn’t have time because I had to be quick with my plan to escape from home and it wouldn’t have been my money to begin with, so… I thought I could just make money on the go, you know, like you! But fighting bandits alone with only my bow is pretty hard. And I wouldn’t know what else to help people with. And besides! I have to talk to them first and then ask for money afterwards! Which is the scariest part! So I thought I could just survive out in the wilderness by myself and hunt and gather my food. Bernie bear turning into a true wild bear! And it works! Sometimes… and sometimes I don’t find anything for a while and then I get so hungry it gets hard to think. And then-”

“Stop. I’ve heard enough.” Everything Bernadetta had just said only confirmed Felix’ opinion on the matter. Bernadetta was completely unprepared for this little adventure of hers and if left alone, she was going to get herself killed. Just listening to her talk about it gave him a headache. He still didn’t know how to get her to see reason but he would think of something.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

Felix stared. Bernadetta stared. No one said anything until Felix clicked his tongue.

“I should have specified that I want a room with two beds.”

“W-well, we could still-”

“No, this is fine. Actually, this might be even more convenient.”

“More convenient? Are you trying to kill me in my sleep?!”

“What? No! I would never! Stop accusing me of things.” It was strange but he felt like he had taken two steps back with Bernadetta. Near the end of the war, she had almost completely stopped with her wild accusations, at least when it came to interactions with him. Now she was once again acting like he was secretly trying to murder her even though he was trying to do the exact opposite. Not to mention that she had tried to flee from him again, just like in the old academy days.

“Well if you don’t want to kill Bernie, what do you want?”

Finally having stepped properly inside the room, Felix had started taking off his cape and his belts. It wasn’t quite time to sleep yet but he could at least be somewhat more comfortable while he counted his leftover money and took care of his equipment. When he heard Bernadetta he stopped for a moment and sighed.

“I want you to listen to me and to not try and run away again.”

Bernadetta flopped down on the bed, kicking off her shoes and pulling up he legs to rest her chin on her knees. “Yeah, well, you can’t make me. You’re not my father and I can do what I want. You have no right to decide what I want to do.”

“It’s not about that. This isn’t the right kind of life for you.”

“Oh yeah? So you want me to be a recluse and never leave my house for the rest of my life?! Is that it?!”

“No, that’s not what I-”

Too late. She was already crying, curled up into a ball with her face pressing into her knees. That had not at all been the direction he had wanted this conversation to go in. But even he had to admit that he had perhaps been too forceful about it, considering the circumstances of her situation. He momentarily abandoned his plans to clean his sword and sat down next to Bernadetta.

He wasn’t quite sure what to do with someone who was crying. If he told her to stop, he knew she would just cry even harder. Faintly, he could remember that when he had been crying as a small child, the comforting touch of someone important to him like his brother or a close friend had helped. Ruffling his hair, holding him close, things like that.

With Bernadetta, all he could think of what placing a hand on her upper back. It was awkward but it was all he could offer. It didn’t seem to help much, however, which he should have predicted. He wasn’t good at this and he knew it. At the very least, it made Bernadetta talk again.

“I don’t want to live in the wilderness but… But I’m not wanted anywhere! I’m a failure if I stay in my room and I’m a failure if I go outside! And wherever I am, I’m always just a burden! My father was right!”

Just what had this man done to her upon her return to house Varley? Undoing so much of the progress she had made in such a short amount of time.

“You’re not unwanted. And I’m not going to try and send you back home, no matter what. Listen, I know for sure that any of our former classmates would take you in. Even I would have, if I had been interested in inheriting my title. As soon as we explain your situation they will gladly lend a hand. We could also go to Garreg Mach and see if they have a job for you. You are a skilled archer, they would be glad to have you.”

Bernadetta’s sobs slowly subsided. She looked up and Felix took in the red in her eyes, her disheveled hair – oddly reminiscent of how it had been during the academy – and the wet trails down her cheeks. He had never wanted to see her like this and it made him angry at himself for causing her this distress in the first place.

“You think?”

“I know it. I have seen you in battle. You can hold your own well enough.”

“But… that didn’t really help me today, did it?”

“Because you were surrounded and had no time to ready your bow. I only managed to save you so quickly because you used your secret technique again.”

Bernadetta giggled. A much nicer sound than her crying. “I still have no idea what you’re talking about. That’s not a technique, I’m just panicking.”

“Then just imagine how strong you would be if you could use it at will. Anyway, think about what I’ve said. We’re going south-east tomorrow, if you don’t want to stay at Garreg Mach we can still travel through Alliance territory from there.”

This time it was Bernadetta who sighed, “Alright, thanks Felix. I’ll think about it.”

They fell into an only somewhat awkward silence after that. It felt like there were many more unspoken words between them, yet neither made another move to say them. Instead, they busied themselves with their own tasks. Felix was cleaning and oiling his swords while Bernadetta was knitting.

“Oh Felix, you have a tear in your cape!”

Felix looked up to see that Bernadetta had momentarily abandoned her task and was holding up his cape. He was about to ask her what she was doing with his cape in the first place when she continued.

“Mind if I fix it? You know, as a thank you for buying food for me. I used to do that for Leonie all the time.”

That was perhaps not such a bad offer. Felix himself was not the best with needle and thread and having it repaired would cost him. He nodded.

“Go ahead.”

“Great! I know a stitch that will make the tear almost invisible, it will look as good as new!”

Humming a merry tune, Bernadetta started her work on his cape. Felix got back to his work as well, or at least he tried to. Not only was Bernadetta’s humming incredibly distracting and made him want to just stop and listen, he was also curious to watch her do that special stitch she had just talked about.

“Uh, Felix? Is something wrong? You’re staring.”

Heat crept up Felix face when Bernadetta caught him staring. Usually, when someone was staring at him, he would snap at them but now that he had been the one to do it, he had no excuse.

“It’s nothing. It’s just…” His gaze darted back to his sword as if that would absolve him from an explanation, which it didn’t. He needed to come up with something. Just then he remembered what Bernadetta had said earlier.

“You are very skilled with your hands. You can cook, sew, knit and all those other handicrafts.”

“That? Oh! They’re just hobbies, I wouldn’t say I’m that skilled.”

“Stop putting yourself down. What I’m trying to say is: as far as I’m concerned your father is wrong. You would make a decent wife.”

As soon as those words had left them did Felix already cringe at them. Decent wife? Really? That was what his mind had decided to call her?

As he looked up to apologize to her though, he saw her blushing profusely. She let go of he needle for now, placing both hands on her heated cheeks.

“Decent wife? Me? Bernie the decent wife?”

She kept murmuring about it, repeating the phrase over and over, and Felix decided that perhaps it had been the right thing to say after all and that he could leave her alone for now.

When it was late enough to go to sleep for the night, both of them had finished their tasks in relative silence, though the happy little tune Bernadetta had hummed before was still stuck in Felix’ head.

He inspected his cape and to his amazement, Bernadetta had been right about the stitch being almost invisible. It almost looked as if nothing had happened to it and he gave her an acknowledging nod.

“Thank you. That was good work.”

Neither of them had any sort of night clothing as that would have been bothersome to travel with, so they took off only the very outer layer of their clothing – the one that was in contact with the outside dirt – and went to bed. Felix placed his swords next to his side of the bed and a dagger under the pillow for good measure.

After putting out the candle, only the moon still shone through their window and Felix closed his eyes, ready to will himself to sleep, deliberately not looking into Bernadetta’s direction. This wasn’t any different from their times at war when they slept next to each other out in the field, he reasoned with himself.

“Hey, Felix?” Bernadetta’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “I’m glad that I got to see you again.”

“Is that so? How come?”

“What? I didn’t say anything! I’m sleeping already actually!”

Felix chuckled but decided not press Bernadetta for an answer. It was probably just her saying foolish things again.

When sleep found him, so did the dreams. About the war. About the death of his former friends. About their ghosts haunting him, asking him why he had abandoned them, why he had killed them, even when he hadn’t been the one to make the final blow.

Felix didn’t believe in being haunted by the dead but when he was sleeping, when he was dreaming, it always felt real. The Dimitri in his dreams always asked him why he hadn’t saved him. The Silvain in his dreams asked him if he had forgotten about their promise. The apparition of his father called him a traitor. And then, they would all stretch their hands towards him, their grip ice cold.

They would pull him down, into an endless sea, black like ink. And he would fight and thrash about and gasp for air until he no longer could. He always drowned.

Felix awoke with a start, sitting up and burring his head in his hands. His breaths came fast and heavy, as if he had been on the verge of suffocating, and he pulled on his own hair to remind himself that he was awake now.

“Felix?” Bernadetta yawned next to him and he cursed silently that his sudden movement had woken her up.

“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”

For a moment the was silence, then a rustling noise as Bernadetta sat up next to him.

“Did you have a bad dream? I get those, too, you know.”

It was impossible to see more than outlines in this darkness but when she found his arm, she put both of her hands on it and squeezed gently.

“It’s not important. Dreams aren’t real.”

“But they’re still scary! And they affect you. When I wake up from a nightmare, it feels like I didn’t sleep right and all the rest I was planning on getting is gone. And if it’s a dream about… well… the Black Eagles, I-”

“Yeah. I know what you mean.” Of course. He hadn’t been the only one to switch houses. If there was someone who knew how he felt, it had to be Bernadetta.

“Was… was that what you were dreaming about? The Blue Lions?”

“Yes.” It was hard to talk about. So he didn’t. Thankfully, Bernadetta didn’t ask further questions. She just sat there with him. Usually, he managed to force himself to calm down, pushing any feeling he might have had about these dreams far, far down until they were no longer on his mind. He wasn’t without emotion but perhaps that was the problem. He had to fight them and he had to win against every single one of them, prevailing through sheer power of will. He couldn’t allow himself to be weak.

“You know, uhm, whenever I have a bad dream and I lie awake at night, I will sing a lullaby that my mother taught me when I was really small. It helps me calm down so I can sleep again. I know this sounds silly and you probably think I’m a baby but it really helps!”

It did sound silly. And he would have told her so. But the mention of a song made him remember the little tune she had hummed before. There hadn’t been any words and he had needed to strain his ears to even be able to listen. He wanted to hear her again, properly this time.

He laid back down, his head turned towards Bernadetta’s silhouette. “Alright, let’s try it.”

“Wh-what? Right now? But I never sing in front of people and I sound terrible and I-”

He wasn’t quite sure what had made him do this. Perhaps it was because of the late hour and Bernadetta’s comforting presence. He reached up with his hand, cupping her cheek. It was incredibly soft and warm. Too soft for someone like him but perhaps it was okay just this once.

“Sing for me, Bernadetta. Please.”

She put a trembling hand on top of his. “Alright, But only because it’s you. And you aren’t allowed to laugh at me!”

She took a deep breath and started to sing. Lullabies weren’t exactly Felix’ favorite type of music. The text was always something about sleeping, the moon, sheep. Things like that. He preferred creative songs that told a story. Still, when Bernadetta’s voice drifted through the air, he began to relax and just listen to the gentle melody.

He didn’t know when he had closed his eyes or when he had fallen back asleep, only that Bernadetta’s song followed him, keeping the dead from reaching his dreams again.


	2. Chapter 2

When next he woke up he felt a slight weight on his chest. It was warm and comfortable, like a cat that had curled up on top of him. It was tempting to just stay like this for a while, eyes closed and petting the cat’s soft fur. Though, it was a strange cat, with an abnormally large head and long fur.

Unable to ignore the strangeness of his feline companion Felix opened his eyes. And stared right into Bernadetta’s steel gray ones. It was, in fact, her head he had been petting until just now.

Felix pulled his hand back quicker than he could draw his sword and Bernadetta squeaked, launching herself to the other side of the bed. Neither of them spoke at first in the aftermath of the position they had both woken up in. Felix very pointedly ignored the hammering in his chest and the heat in his cheeks.

“S-sorry, I think I must have falling asleep while I was still singing.” Bernadetta sounded as flustered as he felt.

“It’s fine.” Felix didn’t trust his voice enough to say more than that.

Getting dressed and ready to set out again was awkward to say the least. Neither of them spoke much and they avoided eye contact where possible. Felix was very busy convincing himself that having Bernadetta so close to him hadn’t been comfortable. There was no use in admitting that it had been nice. She hadn’t even done it on purpose and he did not want to feel like he had been taking advantage of the situation.

Thankfully the silence meant that they were ready quite quickly. The sooner they got this whole ordeal over with the sooner Felix could go back to his life of solitude that let him cut down as many bandits as he pleased.

When they left the inn they were surrounded by some of the villagers from the day before. They were holding up a little bundle wrapped in a piece of cloth.

“We know you are setting out again. You haven’t asked us for money so we would like to offer these provisions with our thanks. Now that the bandits are dead, we will finally get wandering merchants in our village again.”

Felix would have declined if it had only been him. He still had enough provisions and he preferred not to travel with too much weight on him. Besides, these people most likely needed the food. But if he had to share with Bernadetta for an unforeseeable amount of time, extra supplies would come in handy. She was currently hiding behind him so he took a step to the side and nodded in the direction of the villagers.

“You take them.”

“Me? You were the one who killed the bandits!”

“And you are the one who will carry the provisions.”

There was no arguing with that. Bernadetta stepped forward, snatched the bundle out of the man’s hand and immediately returned to her save spot behind Felix. Some things never changed. Since it didn’t seem like she wanted to talk to them, it was up to Felix to act polite. “Thank you, we will be on our way now.”

They left the village in the opposite direction of the forest, passing through fields that probably belonged to nearby farms. Summer had just ended and soon it would become bittercold in Faerghus once again but for now the temperature was still comfortable and a gentle breeze made the golden ears heavy with grain sway in waves.

“Are all villages this nice?” Bernadetta’s voice pulled him out of his silent musings. He scoffed.

“Hardly. It depends on whether they recognize your heritage and what they think of the nobility. The reactions range from that disgusting display of deference you just saw to barely restrained disdain to pitchforks and torches.”

Bernadetta gasped. “That sounds terrible, Felix!”

“To be honest I don’t blame them. I don’t accept punishment for things I haven’t done but I also don’t expect them to bow their heads to me. They can hate me for all I care as long as they let me stay at their inns and buy my necessities.”

Bernadetta still looked troubled but didn’t have any further comment. Felix hoped that this would deter her from wanting to set out on her own again.

They marched until it was time to take a break. The fields had given way to pastures where sheep and cows were grazing. There was a large and flat rock right next to the path that looked like both a landmark and a bench for weary travelers. They both sat down and started taking out their provisions.

Bernadetta had been keeping pace with him quite admirably and she hadn’t complained even once. With some disdain Felix remembered marching with the Golden Deer and the amount of complaints Hilda always had. It was a blessing those days were over because he had been this close to starting an actual fight with her.

When he took out his provisions, Bernadetta gasped. “Are those cakes?”

Ah yes, of course. Bernadetta loved sweets, he remembered. “They are. Cakes are actually excellent provisions, at least the simple ones. Not the ones with cream and glaze and all those unnecessary toppings.”

He realized Bernadetta wasn’t listening, she was too busy almost drooling at the sight of cakes. She swallowed before holding her pack of provisions towards him. “Can we trade? Please? The villagers only put dried meat and cheese and bread in there. I would kill for some cake.”

Now that was a claim worth testing but he decided to let her have some, even if he didn’t like to part with his cakes. He didn’t get to buy them often, either, especially the less sweet variety that he preferred. Bernadetta’s bright smile when he traded a piece of cake for some dried meat however made it worth it. Felix ripped off a piece of dried meat with his teeth while Bernadetta took a big bite of the cake with a content sigh. Only when half of her piece was gone did she start talking again.

“How come you’re eating cake now anyway? I thought you hated sweets.”

“I did. Until Lysithea practically forced the cake on me. I still don’t like it when there is too much sugar in it but the texture and flavor are quite pleasant.”

“Ohhh yeah Lysithea loves cake! She and I would trade recipes and bake together. I wonder what she’s doing now.”

“Helping Professor Hanneman with his research, I imagine. That or making out with Cyril on a wyvern.”

Hearing that made Bernadetta nearly choke on her cake and she glared at him, even if didn’t look very convincing while she had crumbs all over her face. Felix’ mouth curled in amusement.

“You wanted to know.”

“Cruel Felix! Trying to make Bernie choke and die while eating delicious cake! But I do hope Professor Hanneman can help Lysithea.” They all hoped that. Lysithea deserved to have a healthy and long life. “Do you ever think about them? The Golden Deer I mean. We both joined their class late and we were never part of it the way the original students were but… I did like them very much.”

“They were tolerable. Leonie turned out to be a good sparring partner. And they were in need of a capable swordsman, a niche I could easily fill.”

“I always felt a bit redundant because they already had Claude and Leonie and Ignatz who were really good with bows. I could never measure up to someone like Claude.”

“Even if you all used the bow, you each utilized it differently. I also know how to use a bow but I would never say I can use it like you. They had their talents and you have yours.”

“Aw Felix, you’re so nice sometimes it’s almost scary!” Bernadetta giggled.

“...are you making fun of me again?”

* * *

They marched and when nightfall came they camped. Bernadetta took out her knitting equipment again while Felix tended to their fire.

“Isn’t it a bit too dark to see what you’re doing?”

“You mean kitting? I’m used to doing that in dim lighting. I could even do it with my eyes closed!”

“And what are you making?”

Bernadetta held up her progress.

“Ah, I see. A long rectangle.”

“Hey! It will be a scarf, you know! I heard that Faerghus is really cold most of the year so I thought I could just knit myself a scarf for when it gets colder.”

She really was sheltered, wasn’t she? Even now, after surviving a war. “That scarf of yours is not gonna help much if you keep wearing those flimsy shorts. My outfit isn’t a fashion statement, you know.”

“But it does look good on you.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t say anything! You can’t prove it!” Suddenly, her knitting seemed to demand all of her attention as any further attempts at conversation were met with silence.

They took turns sleeping. Usually, Felix would sleep in a tree or other place that seemed more secure or he would not sleep at all in order to escape the nightmares. But now that he had Bernadetta it was alright to let his guard down long enough to get some sleep. Still, he took the first watch and studied her face while listening for suspicious sounds.

Traveling with her wasn’t nearly as bothersome as he had feared it would be, quite the opposite. Excluding her more eccentric moments, she was good company to have around. It was almost a shame that she wouldn’t be staying with him. Though he knew if he asked her she would probably say yes, it wasn’t the kind of life she deserved. She deserved to stay somewhere where she had access to books and a quiet room where she could spend her free time. She deserved a neverending supply of yarn and paints and paper. Besides, there was also that man she was in love with. If he selfishly tried to keep her for himself, she was going to suffer in the long run. Felix didn’t want this. He cared, even if it was difficult for him to show outwardly. And so, he would have to make sure she wouldn’t even get the idea to ask him if she could stay with him.

* * *

Days later they were traveling through a forest again. It was vast and dark, mostly compromised of pine trees that didn’t let much light filter through. A trail of discarded trinkets, clothing and blood led them to a bandit camp stationed in a little clearing deep within the heart of the forest.

They hid far enough away from the lookouts while considering their strategy.

“I need you to take out the guys that are watching the surroundings. All of them, so you need to be quick about it. If we can attack them before they even know what’s happening, we can wipe them out quickly.”

Bernadetta had put on her most serious face. She was studying the positions of the lookouts. “If you want me to kill all of them I will have to shoot them while I’m running around the camp in a circle and hit them without much time to line up my shot.” If she missed, the arrow could very well land in the midst of the bandits, alerting them to Felix’ and Bernadetta’s presence.

“You’re fast. I’ve seen you in action. If you put your mind to it, no one can stop you.”

“Hey Felix?”

“What is it?”

“What would you have done if you had been on your own?”

“I would have stormed the camp and killed them all by myself.”

He realized that that would have been reckless. One might even accuse him of playing with his own life like this on purpose but that wasn’t it. There was no challenge in ambushing the enemy like that. If he was too weak to take on a few bandits by himself, what good was he as a mercenary?

With Bernadetta by his side it was different. She wouldn’t stay out of it even if he told her to. He had no other choice but to change his strategy.

Bernadetta looked like she wanted to say something but held her tongue. They needed to move before the bandits noticed them. Bernadetta got up from her her hiding position and lined up her shot.

Felix couldn’t help but watch her as she aimed. She was different when she fought. She still squealed in fear sometimes but there were also moments like these, moments when she quietly calculated her shot, when her eyes were focused and gleamed like the tip of her arrow. It only lasted for a moment and then she let go. The arrow flew through the air and hit its mark. The bandit collapsed, too sudden was the hit for him to even make a sound. The other bandits were still busy drinking, laughing and joking. Bernadetta took this as a sign and sprinted.

She hit the second target without problems, while running, impressing even Felix. She missed the vital points on the third target which caused him to make a sound, alerting the fourth lookout.

That was Felix’ cue to act. He had only ever managed to master one type of magic. Lightning magic. But that had been enough for him to pass his exams and he found that most of the time he didn’t need anything else.

Thunder cracked through the air, hitting the fourth target like lightning in a storm. He had not wanted to use his magic in a forest but it was the only option. It didn’t cause any fires this time but it did alert the rest of the bandits.

Next, there was chaos. The bandits scuttled like ants, looking for their weapons. Felix felt a rush of adrenaline push him forward until he was in the middle of the camp, cutting down enemies left and right.

They were screaming about an ambush and tried to surround him but thankfully, someone always collapsed with an Arrow in their throat.

“There’s more than one! Find the others and drag them-” The thug never got to finish his sentence before he collapsed, gurgling up blood.

The situation changed when one of the bandits fired an arrow into the forest. A pained shriek told Felix that he had hit Bernadetta. He was distracted for a moment looking for her. A bandit used this opportunity to attack and he dodged too late. The enemy’s blade cut through his sleeve, leaving a deep gash in his arm.

He wanted to retaliate but a sudden arrow in the bandit’s chest took care of that for him.

Finally, he had found Bernadetta. There was blood dripping from an arrow that was stuck in her leg but she was still standing and she looked furious.

It was something Felix had only witnessed once or twice, the first time he had even thought he had imagined it but here she was, proving him wrong.

When Bernadetta was wounded she became more dangerous.

She moved like a flash and shot her enemies before they could attack her. The was more force behind her shots, too. There was no time to watch her for long, however, as there were still a few bandits left alive.

They took care of the rest of them. As soon as the last of them collapsed, so did Bernadetta. Felix rushed to her side. He did have a vulnerary with him but the wound looked like a healer needed to look at it. The arrow was one of those nasty ones bandits liked to use, the kind that left a wound that wouldn’t stop bleeding until the victim died and that ripped the flesh around it in a way that was hard to heal. Still, for now a vulnerary was better than nothing.

“Here, drink this.”

Bernadetta was breathing heavily. Now that the adrenaline had left her, the pain probably set in. It was the same for Felix, though he ignored his arm for now. It wasn’t bleeding profusely and Bernadetta had priority. She looked up at him through a pained expression.

“What- what about you?”

“I’m fine. You need this. I’m getting you to a healer afterwards.”

For now, the vulnerary would keep her alive but he couldn’t pull out the arrow unless he wanted her to bleed out. He also couldn’t wait too long until they found a healer because that would make healing her flesh properly even more complicated, possibly causing longlasting problems.

After she had emptied the bottle, Felix took stock of his surroundings. The bandits had recently attacked a carriage. The arrow riddled remains still had nearly fresh blood stains on it. Otherwise, there wasn’t much to the camp A few tents, a fire, half-eaten food… Ah, of course. At the very far end of the camp there were horses bound to a post, alive but incredibly spooked. If he managed to calm one of them down, he would be able to bring Bernadetta to a healer.

The only problem was that he wasn’t exactly good with horses. He knew how to ride one, it was one of those skills that were drilled into you as a noble. He just wasn’t sure how to calm one of them down enough to get it to bring them to the next town.

“Get its attention. You have to be calm and act like nothing is wrong. Pet them. And don’t bring them too close to the corpses, these aren’t war horses.”

Bernadetta had seemingly followed his gaze, giving him advice before he had even thought to ask her. It was admirable how calm she was despite her injury. Judging by the glassiness in her eyes though, it seemed like she was fighting to even stay conscious. For now, he left her where she was, propped against a tree, while he approached the horses.

They were all skittish, scurrying and huffing and pulling against their reins. The only one that looked just a little calmer was the one on the far right, it was darker than the others and looked somewhat sturdier, broader even. Felix decided to try this one.

However, it didn’t seem like it wanted to be his friend. Whenever he approached, it gave a warning huff into his direction and shook his hands off when he tried to pet it, even trying to bite him once.

“I don’t have time for this.” He clicked his tongue and gauged his odds with the other horses when he remembered that he still had some cake on him. Cake was a treat you could feed a horse to bribe it, right?

“Here, look at this. Doesn’t this look delicious?” As he held the treat in front of its nose, it almost seemed like the horse was about to bite him again. Then it smelled the cake. That seemed to calm it down, enough to take the piece Felix had offered off his hand and it even let him pet it afterwards.

What Felix hadn’t expected was for the horse to start trying to eat his hair as soon as he untied it from the post.

“Hey, stop that!” He dodged the incoming attack of horse teeth. Thankfully it didn’t seem like the horse was aggressive. It was more like… it was trying to bully him. Maybe he should have tried his luck with the other horses but time was of the essence. He pulled the horse after him and at the very least it followed without further protest.

* * *

The bad news was that the horse was actually a Pegasus whose wings had been bound to its body to keep it from flying away. The good news was that the Pegasus had taken an immediate liking to Bernadetta, gently nudging at her pale face with its nose. It didn’t seem to mind Felix sitting on it as long as Bernadetta was there with him. The bad news about that was that that the Pegasus still refused to fly for him even after untying its wings and they had to ride until sunrise to reach the nearest town. Felix was holding on to Bernadetta as they were riding, hoping that the Pegasus’ gait wasn’t jostling the arrow too much. Bernadetta was mostly quiet while she leaned against Felix, falling asleep for short periods of time and then waking up again.

Finally having reached the town, finding a healer was the next priority. People stared, visibly perplexed at the sight of a man with a mostly unconscious woman in his arms riding on a Pegasus like it was a normal horse. Still, they did give him directions when he stopped and asked for the nearest healer. Apparently there was someone proficient in faith magic and they pointed in the direction he had to take.


	3. Chapter 3

According to the healer, Bernadetta would be fine, though it would take a while for the wound to heal completely. For now she was resting in one of the beds at the healer’s clinic and until she awoke, Felix would have time to take care of all the other unfinished business. Of course the healer had also taken care of his wound, warning him that it was going to leave a scar because he hadn’t tended to it at all. Another reminder that carelessness had a price.

For now he would have to alert the guards of the carriage in the woods. Seeing how recent the raid had been, it was safe to assume that there were still people waiting for a carriage that would never arrive. If he had had more time he would have investigated for himself but now he didn’t want to get too far away from Bernadetta, in case she woke up and thought he had abandoned her. The guards would be able to take care of the rest.

When Bernadetta did wake, he was right by her side, sitting on a small stool next to her bed. Her eyes anxiously wandered around the unfamiliar room but relaxed once they focused on him. “Felix…? Where are we? Weren’t we fighting some bandits in the forest?”

“We were. You got wounded and I brought you to a healer. We’re in Nessa, a midsize town in the south of Faerghus.”

Pushing her eyebrows together in a frown, Bernadetta stared at the ceiling, perhaps an attempt to remember the events of last night. Then she suddenly gasped, giving him a wide eyed stare full of urgency.

“Oh yeah! What happened to Cookie?”

“...what?”

“Cookie! The Pegsasus!”

He wanted to ask her how she knew its name but the most likely answer was that she didn’t. She had just decided upon seeing it that its name was to be cookie because it reminded her of one. A particularly burnt cookie, if one were to ask Felix. He decided to go with it for now. Whenever he thought Bernadetta couldn’t be more baffling she proved him wrong.

“It- ‘Cookie’ is resting at the stables of the inn. We’re staying here for a few days to wait for your injury to heal completely and to replenish our supplies.”

That seemed to put Bernadetta at ease. Felix wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of keeping the Pegasus since they didn’t even know where it had come from or who it had belonged to. Its coloration hinted at a dark flier, how the bandits had gotten a hold of it was anyone’s guess. If there was no owner to be found and Bernadetta wanted to keep it for herself there was nothing he could do, though he doubted she would get much use out of it. As far as he remembered, Bernadetta had never done any flier training aside from basic skywatch duty.

Just then the healer entered the room.

“I would like to check up on miss Bernadetta now that she is awake. If the healing magic worked properly, she may already be discharged tomorrow morning. But take it easy for the next few days as not to aggravate the freshly mended muscle.”

Felix nodded at her before directing his attention back to Bernadetta. She gave the healer a nervous look before looking up at Felix. Usually he wasn’t one for smiles but he gave her one now in hopes of calming her nerves.

“You will be fine. I will come pick you up tomorrow morning. Promise.”

It worked. She smiled back at him and nodded. “Alright. See you then, Felix.”

After leaving the clinic Felix checked the time and found that it would be a while until sunset. He had already booked a room at the inn for the next few nights so the rest of the day was his to do with as he pleased. He decided to hit the market and shop for weapons and supplies. He doubted that the blacksmith had anything better than the current swords he carried but Bernadetta would need to replenish her arrows and if he was lucky he would find decent cake. That damn Pegasus had robbed him of the last of his stock.

Felix didn’t particularly enjoy shopping but there was something distracting about perusing the wares and listening to the vendors pitch their offers. It was a distraction he could use right now.

Next to the weapons vendor where he bought a set of arrows of the same type as Bernadetta used there was a stall with fabrics and outer garments. A plum colored cloak with fur trimmings caught his attention and he stepped closer to inspect it. The length was perfect for Bernadetta’s height, long enough to keep her warm but not too long so it wouldn’t drag on the floor. The fabric and fur seemed of good quality and the style was simple, extravagant choice of color aside. He was sure Bernadetta would love to add her personal touch to it.

It would be a practical gift. A thank you for the help she had been during the fight against the bandits, an apology for the fact that she had gotten injured due to his carelessness and a way to make sure that she wouldn’t catch her death as soon as the temperatures fell. The only problem was the price.

Ever since he had started his travels he had tried to live somewhat frugally in order to save up money for the times when work was scarce or when he found a weapon he wanted. He could afford the gift but it would set him back somewhat. Haggling would not work because for some reason whenever he tried it vendors ended up not wanting to sell anything to him any longer. He had no idea what he was doing wrong. He frowned. There really was only choice here.

After the buying the cloak for Bernadetta, food and healing items were next on the list. They would be able to hunt for meat so stocking up on things like cheese and bread were of more importance. He was also lucky to find that the baker sold not only bread but also a small variety of cakes. He chose the least sweet variety for himself and a more sugary version for Bernadetta. Only so she wouldn’t have to eat his cake again, of course. He also stocked up on vulneraries and a few concoctions in case the healing needed to pack more of a punch.

The shopping trip had been the biggest he had done in a while. Perhaps it would have been better to wait until Bernadetta was discharged from the clinic, he thought while carrying the arrows and cloak in his arm and the food in his pack. Then again, she was supposed to take it easy and busy markets weren’t exactly her favorite places to be. This way it was much more efficient.

He arrived at the inn, unloaded the purchases in their room – a single room with one large bed again but he supposed Bernadetta would no longer mind – and went to the tavern part of the inn to have a warm meal. It almost felt like things were back to normal again when he had always eaten by himself and in silence. A reminder that the time spent with Bernadetta would be finite.

It happened when he was back in his room, sitting on the bed and taking off his belts and boots. The buckles were strangely slippery and didn’t want to open no matter how often he tried. Only when gave up for the moment did he notice that his inability to open the buckles stemmed from his own hands shaking. There was a persistent throbbing pain in his freshly healed arm and a deep set ache in all of his muscles. It was only now that he even allowed himself to take note of his body and feel it.

Felix grit his teeth. Moving became an almost impossible task. With more difficulty than he cared to admit, he slipped out of his boots and curled up on the bed, not even bothering to grab the blanket.

This was not the first time this had happened. He was always wound too tightly, unable to allow himself the weakness of physical or mental pain and the need to take breaks. Then, when he was alone in his room in an Inn somewhere – and only then – he would collapse on his bed, falling into a fitful sleep that brought him the worst nightmares of all.

Perhaps it was self-destructive, to an extent. Perhaps it was even hampering his ability to grow stronger still. However, each day he fought these demons of his and each day he won against them through his very own strength. That was all he needed, his own strength.

But then why was the memory of Bernadetta shyly singing for him haunting his mind? Why was there this longing for just a shred of frivolous comfort like the touch of her hand or seeing her smile? He had given up on that. And yet.

Sleep found him but rest did not. At the very least his pain no longer immobilized him the next morning. He did a few extensive stretched to get rid of the stiffness in his limbs before setting out to make good on his promise to Bernadetta.

When he arrived at the clinic she was already up and ready to leave, smiling when she saw him.

“Felix! You really came.”

“Of course I did. Did you think I would actually leave you behind?”

She pouted. “Well, with you it’s always a possibility!”

He decided to ignore the jab in favor of asking about the wound. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, walking only hurts a little bit.”

That was good. Felix wanted to apologize but now was not the time so he only nodded.

When they left the clinic, there was a well dressed woman waiting for them. She seemed unsure at first though a look at the note she held seemed to calm her nerves.

“Excuse me, are you the swordsman who killed the bandit camp in the forest and reported the missing carriage to the guards?”

“Depends. Who is asking?”

She drew a shaky breath. “The man who had been riding the carriage… he was my husband. He should have arrived a few days ago, I already started suspecting that he had a mistress that he was visiting… I never-” She choked out a sob, lifting up a handkerchief to dry her tears.

Felix already felt himself getting impatient with the woman and her theatrics. “We were the ones killing the bandits. What else do you want?” Bernadetta tugged at his sleeve, as if to tell him not to be so harsh to this mourning widow. Felix took a deep breath through his nose, willing himself to wait for the woman to finish speaking.

“Ah… I didn’t want to keep you for too long, my apologies. I just wanted to thank you for making sure these bastards were punished for their crimes. And I wanted to give you this.”

She handed him a small purse filled with coin. She hadn’t hired him but after yesterday’s purchases he wouldn’t say no to an unexpected reward.

Before the woman could turn away and leave, there was just one more thing he needed to ask. “Before you leave, were either your husband or you in possession of a Pegasus?”

She furrowed he eyebrows in thought. “No, we didn’t have one.” With that, she excused herself and was gone.

“That poor woman, losing her husband like that.” Bernadetta sounded sad. Indeed it was tragic. Even after the war, there was enough death and spilled blood to turn a river red.

“Let’s go. Once we’re at the inn we can divide the coin.”

“Divide?”

“Of course. We killed these bandits together so you’re getting your fair share.”

* * *

“Oh! What’s this?”

Felix had forgotten to hide the cloak from sight so when they entered their room at the inn, his surprise was ruined. Bernadetta was already picking it up from its resting place on the chair, a curious glint in her eyes.

“It’s beautiful. But I had no idea you were the type who liked purple.”

“It’s not for me. It’s for you, obviously.”

He could no longer look at Bernadetta directly even if he knew that she was staring at him now.

“Huh? Me? But… why?”

“So you don’t freeze to death once we pass the mountains. And… as an apology. I should have protected you and I failed. I realize a gift cannot undo that but I owe you at least this much.”

He could feel Bernadetta approaching even if he still didn’t look into her direction. Only when she put her arms around him were his eyes drawn back.

She was hugging him, burying her face in chest. Felix wasn’t quite sure how to react to that. She didn’t say anything for a while and eventually albeit reluctantly, Felix put his arms around her as well.

The only thing that could be heard was a muffled “Apology accepted.”

* * *

Just as expected, the cloak suited her well. She twirled around in it, pulled the hood as far over her face as it would go and took each end into her hands to flap them like wings.

“This cloak is like a little tent just for Bernie!” She quipped while hugging herself with the cloak, hiding her entire body.

He truly had chosen a good gift, maybe even too good. However, hearing her be this happy and chipper made her silly antics worth it.

Felix meanwhile was counting the money they had gotten from the woman. He divided it into two even piles, putting one pile back into the purse for Bernadetta while the rest wandered into his own to be added to what he already had. It had been a sizable sum which wasn’t too surprising considering the way the woman had dressed and carried herself. Rich people were easy to identify, a fact that had cost her husband his life.

The rest of the day went by in a flash. They visited the stables and to Felix’ dismay, Bernadetta and the Pegasus hit it off well while he had to keep his ponytail safe from the beast’s teeth at all times. Since the lady had claimed no ownership and Bernadetta insisted on it, they would keep him for now, at least until they reached Garreg Mach where they had actual Pegasus riders.

They ate lunch and then went to the bath house, both to relax and to finally truly feel clean again. Bathing in rivers was uncomfortable and no comparison to an actual bath. Thankfully due to the cold temperatures Faerghus had an extensive sauna and bathing culture. They didn’t bathe together of course and Felix only soaked in the hot water for a little while. It was actually rather soothing for any sore muscles he still had.

Still, when he got out, Bernadetta had somehow beat him to it and was already waiting for him.

“There were other people so I tried to be as fast as I could.”

They spent the rest of the day cooped up in their room at the inn, heeding the healers words not to let Bernadetta walk around too much. Upon her own insistence she immediately set to work mending his torn sleeve and Felix, now in his undershirt, alternated between sharpening his sword and watching her work.

“Say, how did you get Cookie to even take us to this town?” Her sudden question cut through their comfortable silence, making Felix look up from his task. She had barely even been conscious back then so he supposed that she couldn’t remember much of what had happened after the fight with the bandits and it was a well known fact that Pegasi didn’t accept male riders.

“I had to bribe him with cake. He still refused to fly us but I think he understood that you were in danger and I had to bring you to a healer.”

Bernadetta laughed, accidentally pricking herself in the finger with a needle with a sudden “ouch!”.

“Laugh all you want, I would have preferred not to take all night to reach the next town.” Felix huffed. “I can’t wait for this buffoonery to be over once I deliver you to the monastery.”

Bernadetta had no answer for that. In fact, she no longer made any attempt at conversation. She finished mending his sleeve and while he got dressed again, she continued knitting in an almost stubbornly focused fashion. Was something troubling her? If she was still upset about the fact that he wanted her to not die out on the road then that was her own personal problem, he decided. She would probably calm down eventually and he didn’t mind the silence.

They only left the room once it started getting dark and it was time for dinner. Having several warm meals a day was a luxury but one worth indulging in while they could.

“Hey Felix?”

He looked up from his meal, the so called “mystery meat”.

“Would you…. order some ale for me?”

He furrowed his brows. “Since when have you taken up drinking?”

“I haven’t! I don’t usually like that stuff. But…” She didn’t look at him. “I feel like I need it today. I’ll pay for it myself, no worries, but… you know.” She didn’t want to order it herself. It somehow really made him wonder how Bernadetta had even survived prior to running into him.

Still, there weren’t many wishes he would deny her so he ordered a tankard for each of them, mostly just so she wouldn’t have to feel awkward drinking alone. Well, that and perhaps because she was right about needing a drink after all that had happened. It hadn’t been as devastating as anything that happened during the war but back then, they had had more friends to support them and the professor to guide them. Perhaps remembering any of that warranted a drink as well.

The barmaid he waved over flashed him a what he surmised was supposed to be an alluring smile. She promised to get to his order first with a wink and he wasn’t about to discourage her from that even if he wasn’t nearly as charmed as she probably hoped he was. Bernadetta gave the barmaid a quick glare as she left.

The ale did indeed arrive fairly quickly and Bernadetta’s reaction to it was predictable. She scrunched up her nose and made a face as if she had bitten into a whole lemon. To her credit she kept drinking. Felix somewhat nursed his ale, too busy watching Bernadetta, even if he actually had more of a taste for it than she had. He just didn’t like dulling his senses. Although he doubted that one ale was capable of doing that, this particular one tasted rather strong.

Bernadetta fought admirably with the ale, taking a big gulp, making a sour face at it, pausing for a few moments and then taking the next one. He wouldn’t have expected her to be so stubborn about it, it had seemed more likely that she would give up after a few sips. Not that he would stop her. She could do what she wanted for all he cared.

They didn’t speak for a while, it was neither comfortable, nor uncomfortable. Somewhere in-between, just like the progress of their journey. That was why Bernadetta’s next question hit him like a wyvern at full speed.

“Why did you do it, Felix? Why did you leave right after the war ended?”

He didn’t answer immediately, taking in the flush that had appeared on Bernadetta’s cheeks. Was that why she had requested alcohol? So she could be brave enough to ask him this question?

“Isn’t it obvious? You have seen yourself the amount of bandits pillaging the land. My fight isn’t over, I’m going where my blade leads me.”

“I see… I… I don’t understand you, Felix. When I begged you to stay with me, you didn’t. And I thought, you know, maybe you don’t like me! Which I understand because I also don’t like me! I would also reject me if I were me. But then I found you again and now you’re being so nice to me, just like during our time together in the war. And you protected me and saved me when I got hurt and even gave me this amazing present but all of that just to deliver me to the monastery and leave me again! You confuse me so much and all I know if that I completely failed at impressing you.”

There was a part of him that wanted to react with indignation. Had had never said that! Well, he had but not because he wanted to leave her. And he only wanted to bring her there because it would be better for her. He didn’t dislike her, quite the opposite. It was because she was important to him that he was doing this. He wanted to say all of that. But then there was this other part that was finally, painfully, putting the pieces together about the things she had said.

“So… that jerk who hurt and rejected you… It’s me. I’m that jerk.” And it had taken him this long to realize. What an utter and complete fool he had been.

Bernadetta only nodded. She had fallen silent, staring into her tankard to study its contents. He wanted to say something but he didn’t know what, didn’t know how. He didn’t even know how drunk Bernadetta even was. It wasn’t like ale was hard liquor but she looked like an absolute lightweight and apparently wasn’t used to it, either.

“Urrrgh…” She pushed the rest of the ale away from her, proving Felix’ suspicion right. He took one last swig himself and got up.

“You sound like you need to sleep off the buzz. We can… talk about this tomorrow.” If she even still remembered it tomorrow. Perhaps it was better if she didn’t.

Helping her out of her chair made him realize that she had basically become a limp noodle. She held on to him for dear life until he was tired of taking one step per minute and just resorted to carrying her back to their room where he had to put her down long enough to unlock the door.

He carried her to their bed and, as gently as he managed, placed her on the bed. She was still awake and proceeded to kick off her shoes and get a little more comfortable while he locked the door again. However when he himself managed to get ready for sleep he could already hear her breathing even out. After a moment of watching her troubled face softening as it relaxed he tucked her in and laid down on the other side of the bed, hoping that his thoughts would not swirl around her all night.

When he woke up the next day he was met with a miserable bundle, wrapped in a blanked and curled up at the far end of the bed. It moved slightly when he sat up but winced in pain immediately after.

“Sounds like someone got a hangover from just one ale.”

“Felix?” Her voice was quiet, muffled from the blanket and strained because from the headache she most certainly had. “Do you hate me?”

He sighed. So much for her forgetting about yesterday. “I don’t hate you. Even if you could have been straightforward about this way sooner. Preferably without the drinking part.”

“I got this idea from a book, actually. A character was too shy to confess his feelings so he drank to become braver.”

“And? Did it work?”

The bundle curled up tighter. “No…”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Because I thought I already had no chance anyway. I was too afraid to tell you but I wanted to so, so badly.”

Felix got up. He rummaged in his belongings until he found what he needed, kneeling down next to the bed on Bernadetta’s side and holding up a flask right where he presumed her head to be.

“Here. I heard vulneraries help with hangovers. I don’t know if it’s actually true but it’s worth a try.”

A hand appeared from within the darkness, accepting his offer and disappearing again. He shook his head and started gathering his weapons, belts and boots while he waited to the effect to settle in. And really, just as he was putting on his boots, a disheveled head appeared, blearily blinking at the light coming in through the window. She didn’t make eye-contact with Felix, even as her vision seemed to clear up.

“So… if you don’t hate me, are you gonna do it?”

“Do what?”

There was only a short glance his direction before she looked away again. It was obvious she was still hurt. It was understandable, he hadn’t even explained himself yet, skirting around the topic without ever actually addressing it.

“Cut yourself down, like you promised.”

He blinked. Ah, yeah, he had said that. And now he also understood why she had laughed at his suggestion. Then again… yeah, perhaps that was what he ought to do.

“I will.” And before she could say anything, he added: “Metaphorically speaking.”

Her brows pulled together at that, somewhat disbelieving, somewhat worried. “But how?”

“By telling you the truth. Why I left even though you asked me not to. And why I want to deliver you to Garreg Mach.”

That caught her attention. She finally peeled herself from her blanket cocoon while he sat down next to her on the bed.

“I’m-”, he frowned, trying to find the right words to explain himself- “not a man for love and romance. I never saw myself as someone who settles down and marries. At least not since certain events. It was clear to me that this was going to be my life. Traveling, always in search of a challenge. You were just not part of that plan.”

Her head sank and he lifted it up again by the chin, as gently as he managed.

“I’m not done. Because that doesn’t mean that I don’t care for you. If I were a different man, a man who wants to love and marry and I had to choose who I want to spend my life with, I would choose you.”

Her eyes filled with tears and she said, barely above a whisper: “But that still means you’re rejecting me.” And he had to let go of her because it felt like he had been stung by a very painful truth.

“I suppose, in a way, yes. But I’m not rejecting your feelings. I feel the same as you. I just-” and it hurt to admit to it, it felt like he truly was cutting himself down here, presenting the pieces to Bernadetta to let her see who he truly was, what was actually left of him. “I don’t know how to be anything else at this point. How to not be the extension of my blade. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who would make a decent husband?”

Bernadetta sniffled. As she shook her head, the tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. She leaned against his shoulder, latching on to his arm. His heart had been hammering from within all this time but now it left like it was ready squeeze between his ribs and leave. This was worse than being on a battlefield, oh so much worse. On a battlefield he knew what to do. Here he was helpless and stupid and there seemed to be no answer for the predicament he had gotten himself into.

As if reading his thoughts, Bernadetta began to talk again. “I could travel with you. Wherever you go, I would accompany you. I could help you. And when we don’t fight bandits we can just look at pretty flowers or stay at an inn like this. Or we can both stay at Garreg Mach. And you can train there every day. I would even pick up the lance again so we can have sparring matches. Whatever you want to do. I just want to be by your side.”

“And what do you want? You, personally? Something that isn’t just trying to please me.”

“I, uhm... want to keep doing my hobbies. I want to knit and embroider and cook and paint and write. But I could do that while traveling with you. The outside can be scary but a forest at night can be just as quiet as a cramped little room. A flower in the wild can be just as pretty as a potted plant that I water every day. And no matter where I am, I feel so much safer when I’m with you.”

She finally looked up at him and it was hard to resist the urge to wipe away her tears.

“And I want to stay with you. Not just to please you but because, well, that’s what you want to do when you love someone, right? A-and also I want a kiss. Because if this was a book, now that we have confessed our feelings to each other, sorta, we would kiss now. Something really dramatic like the sad kiss of star-crossed lovers who can never be together.”

Alright, now he just had to actually wipe away her tears, if only so he could properly frown at her and say: “You read too many romance novels.”

Like many times before, Bernadetta’s speed caught him off-guard. She moved like a flash and he only noticed what she was after when he could feel her lips press against his cheek for just a moment. It was over just as quickly and Bernadetta was already running for the door and his own reflexes kicked in.

He had locked the door the previous night but had not taken the key. Luckily for him he was rather fast as well and managed to slam his hand on the door just as Bernadetta had unlocked it and way about to open it.

She gave a loud shriek at the hand that slammed on the door right next to her head. She was shaking, no doubt afraid that Felix was going to punish her for what she had done. Even so, she turned around.

He had her trapped between the door and his own body, only space the width of a thick book left between them. She wasn’t that much shorter than him, no anymore, but he used what height advantage he still had to look down at her.

“Are you going to kill me now? You’re going to kill me now. Bernie is about to die because she just couldn’t keep her mouth to herself, isn’t she?”

He ignored her rambling. “If you want to kiss me, at least do it properly.”

“I will never- huh?” She blinked at him as if he had ripped her from her mental spiraling and stared like she was a fish out of water. He wasn’t good at holding people’s gazes but the color of her eyes always reminded him of a gleaming blade. It was dangerously easy to get lost in them.

He had never planned for this to happen. And yet there he was. His face was moving closer to hers and he was much more nervous than he would ever show outwardly. He wanted to kiss her. He wasn’t sure if his kiss would be anything like she had dreamed up in her head. Even so, she was here and staring and waiting and he hated to waste time. He-

A sudden booming noise and the distant cries people broke them apart and ended the moment between them. They looked at each other for only a moment before rushing to the window.


	4. Chapter 4

Their window was facing the street that led to the marketplace. Black smoke was rising in the distance and people were running down the street, almost stumbling over each other to get out of the area.

“What do you think happened?”

“I don’t know. But I intend to find out.” Whatever it was it wasn’t good. And it was most likely not just a fire judging by the noise they had just heard. Felix grabbed his sword and was almost out of the door before he paused, making Bernadetta stop in her efforts to get ready as well.

“You stay here. The healer only discharged you yesterday.”

“But I can-”

“I’ll be fine on my own.”

And with that he was out of the door and then sprinting out of the inn in the direction of the smoke. It was difficult to navigate through the fleeing masses and he almost knocked a few people over as he got closer to his destination.

He did, however, already see what the commotion was about when an enormous black birdlike creature rose up from the smoke and unleashed a bone-shattering screech. Felix only needed to take one look to know that this wasn’t actually a bird.

It was a demonic beast.

The had fought these often during the war but always with most of the army working together. It had taken tremendous effort just to finish one of these nightmarish creatures. He knew how to kill them but not if he alone would be able to.

When he arrived at the marketplace he was met with carnage. Some of the stalls were burning and there were people lying on the ground or being carried away. It looked so much like a battlefield it made him feel sick. A battalion of guards had just arrived as well, their leader shouting for them to ready their Bows.

They took aim and shot but couldn’t reach the beast as it rose up in the sky, avoiding their attack. If this had been a demonic beast bound to the ground it would have been easier to hit it. Those with wings needed to either be baited or hit by a flier.

The creature screeched. It was an earpiercing sound that seemed to create storms from its shockwave, making pieces of debris almost become projectiles as they hit him and the battalion.

Think. Felix had to think. From the looks of it the guards would be no help with getting the beast down on the ground but once they had it there, they could become useful. Felix preferred to work on his own but when fighting against something this size, it was not an option. For now though he still needed to find a way to ground the flying beast.

The only thing that came to mind was his magic. Waiting for the guard to line up and fail another shot at the beast, he gathered his magic and called a bolt of lightning to strike from the sky.

It hit! The beast’s wings flapped wildly for a moment before regaining their rhythm.

“Shit.” Of course it also had to have magic resistance. He looked around. There had to be something that could be used. Maybe there was a ballista in the area somewhere. But finding it would take too much time. Or maybe-

“Hey, you overgrown chicken!”

Felix knew that voice but not where he came from. He turned in every direction searching for her until he finally looked up at the sky.

“Bernadetta! What are you doing up there?!”

Bernadetta, who was currently sitting on Cookie’s back as it was flying towards the demonic beast, gave him a shaky thumbs up before shouting back.

“I’m helping! Without aggravating my leg! I think!”

In a flash his head was filled worst case scenarios of Bernadetta, a clearly inexperienced flier, being ripped to shreds by the beast or plummeting to her death. However, this new configuration youl also change the tides of this battle. An idea was forming in Felix head.

Once upon a time, years ago when he had been with the Blue Lions, Ingrid had talk about his tactis. How they had been unconventional but interesting and quite effective. He could only hope that they still were.

Bernadetta was flying in circles, seemingly trying to figure out how to best attack while the guards still hadn’t given up their idea to shoot at the threat to their town in hoped that they would finally hit it. He shputed up at her.

“Hey! Do you think you can shoot its eye if I get it in position for you?”

The beast, like most of them, was wearing a hard mask over its face but the eye part was vulnerable. An arrow piercing it was going to severely limit its ability to dodge incoming attacks. Attacks like an entire rain of arrows.

“Uh, yeah, I think!”

That was all Felix needed to know. He nodded at her and rushed across the plaza, approaching the guards.

The man in charge was the first to notice Felix. “Hey you, you’re that mercenary who killed those bandits a few days ago, what-”

“There’s no time. I need your men to follow my orders.”

“What? But that’s-”

“I know how to kill this thing. But it will only work if you do as I say.”

The man frowned thoughtfully. He seemed to consider it, giving both his men and the beast a quick glance.

“Alright. You get one shot. What do you need us to do?”

“Shoot when I give the sign. When the beast is busy dodging your attack, my partner will use that as a chance to strike.”

Above him Bernadetta had already gotten into position. The beast had to have noticed her already so there was no more time to waste.

Felix lifted his arm, a sign that both the guards and Bernadetta would be able to see. They all had their bows directed at the creature and it was wearily waiting for either them or Bernadetta to make a move.

“Fire!” When he brought his arm back down, a slew of Arrows were fired up into the sky. Predictably, the beast dodged them. Bernadetta had waited for this very moment. Just as it reached a greater height to be safe from the guard’s arrows, she fired her own.

The arrow met its mark, stabbing into the mask’s eyehole. The beast let out an inhuman wail and faltered in the air. Finally.

And then it regained its composure, charging at Bernadetta.

It was a horrible feeling, being stuck on the ground and unable to do anything. Bernadetta managed to dodge the beasts’s attack and her Pegasus did a sharp turn, fleeing from its sharp claws and beak.

The beast chased them in the air and Bernadetta flew a wide circle around the market as not to lead it too far away from the guards or cause even more destruction to the town. The beast, now injured and furious, never managed to catch up and let an angry roar, a wind attack in disguise. The shockwave crashed into Berndetta and her Pegasus from behind.

Cookie was pushed forward and stomped his legs in the air to not be flipped over by the force of the attack. Instead he flew downwards in a spiral and to their surprise, the beast didn’t follow them, perhaps fearing the arrows of the guards.

As soon as Felix saw them landing, he ran towards Bernadetta.

She was shaking and panting as she dismounted, holding on to Cookie’s saddle even when her feet were on solid ground again to keep her knees from buckling. She had small cuts all over her body where the wind had sliced up her skin and clothes, causing small rivulets of blood to form.

She gave Felix an apologetic look when he reached her.

“Sorry. I wasn’t any help after all.”

He shook his head. “You did amazing. You were the first who even managed to hit that thing. If we can hit the other eye as well, it will be blind and unable to escape any more attacks.”

“The other eye?” She gave the beast that was still circling the marketplace, dodging the guards’ arrows and destroying stalls with its roar, a concerned look. “I don’t know if I can…”

“It has to be you. No one else could do this.” No one else who was here right now, anyway. Bernadetta wasn’t Claude yet she had managed to hit a tiny spot on an enemy atop a flying mount that she had barely any experience with. Calling it impressive didn’t even do it enough justice. And that wasn’t even touching on the fact no one else even had a flying mount right now to get close enough to the beast.

Felix didn’t like it one bit but he knew what he had to do now.

“I know you’re exhausted but I can help you with that. Remember how back during our academy days we had a dance competition?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah, I remember because you were the one who won! I never thought you were such a passionate dancer.”

“That’s because I’m not. Anyway, after that clownery was over I learned the special dance of the dancer class but refused to use it. The professor tried to make me but eventually gave up on it. I can’t get up there and take care of this thing myself so I’m giving you your stamina back.”

“You- you’re- gonna dance for me?!”

It wasn’t just a dance, not exactly. It was actually a type of ancient magic that had existed even before the two schools of reason and faith and so couldn’t be classified as either. It was a way to transfer your energy on to someone who was already exhausted through a very specific set of movements. That was why only someone good at dancing could learn it.

Not that Felix had time to explain all that to Bernadetta right now.

While he hadn’t minded learning about this, he had always hated the dance in question as well as the traditional outfit that came with it. He was only going to do this it this once, for Bernadetta, and without the outfit.

He got into position and all Bernadetta could do was give him a wide-eyed stare. Even after so many years he still remembered the movements and as if they were second nature. He danced and could feel the magic leaving his body and flow into her. When he got to the last sequence of the dance, unfurling his arms with a flourish like a bird about to take flight, he decided – on pure whim – to change the routine just slightly.

He held out his hand for Bernadetta and she – after already feeling the effect of his dance – only hesitated a moment before taking it. He lifted his hand, leading her into a twirl before gently pulling her close. 

“Is this moment dramatic enough for you?”

He didn’t await her answer and kissed her instead, only long enough to be able to feel how soft her lips were before moving away.

Her eyes were bright and cheeks flushed but when she got back onto her Pegasus, she seemed even more energetic than when she had started the fight.

She flew away and suddenly Felix felt out of breath. He had used up his entire energy in order to give it to Bernadetta. He understood now why dancers needed to take a break after dancing for someone. Perhaps he had even overdone it a little.

Meanwhile, the fight was still in full swing. Neither the beast, nor the guards were about to give up, even if the beast still kept its distance due to the relentless arrow volleys and the guards hadn’t gotten any closer to even hitting it.

That changed when the beast’s remaining eye saw Bernadetta. It screeched, as if possessed by an angry spirit and immediately charged at her again, ready to get revenge for losing an eye to her.

Bernadetta had anticipated that. She led Cookie to fly in circles again, baiting the beast into chasing her. Felix could do nothing but watch with bated breath.

Suddendly, Bernadetta turned around, no longer watching where she was flying. She aimed her bow at the beast and shot. It missed, bouncing off the beast’s mask. Felix flinched in fear for her life. If the beast got her and she feel to the ground… he didn’t even want to think about it.

And then she glowed. Felix knew that glow. It was the glow that signified the activation of a crest. Bernadetta’s crest was that of Indech, which meant-

Wasting no time at all, she drew another arrow and shot, her crest granting her a second chance. This time she hit her target, the beast’s other eye. It wailed and screeched, now lashing out blindly. As soon Bernadetta was out of range, Felix shouted at the guards.

“It’s blinded! Shoot it now!”

They did. This time they, too, hit their mark, riddling the beast’s wings in arrows. It plummeted to the ground, disappearing in a cloud of dust. As the dust started to settle however it was clear that it wasn’t dead quite yet. Dozens of arrows and even a fall from a greet height couldn’t kill it but perhaps Felix could.

He had had time to regain some energy. Enough so that when the beast was on the ground, thrashing about wildly, he and his sword were ready.

He charged at it. This time, he could feel it in himself, his blood pumping and his crest awakening.

It always felt like something inhuman was getting a hold of him, guiding his arm into swinging his sword faster and putting more weight into the swing. A swing to split the heavens or at least to sever a demonic beast’s head from its shoulders. The beast, blinded and in a panic, thrashed about but Felix managed to dodge and jumped, his blade slicing through hardened skin and tissue as is it was cheese.

The head dropped to the floor and after a moment, so did the body. Felix had to leap out of the way as not to get squashed, landing on his feet but dropping to his knees right after.

The first few seconds after a won battle never quite felt real, as if the body had to catch up to the fact that it didn’t have to be tense any longer. Felix only let that feeling linger for a second before he pushed himself up again.

He could hear distant cries of victory and the distinct sound of hooves on cobblestone coming from somewhere close. It alerted him to the person who had just landed behind him.

He barely had any time to turn around before Bernadetta had already jumped into his arms, holding him as tight as she possibly could. Again, the shock lasted only a moment before he put his arms around her as well.

“We did it!”

“No, you did it. I merely finished the job.”

For a little while they didn’t speak and just held each other, glad to be alive.

* * *

As it turned out, Cookie would fly with Felix sitting on him as long as it was Bernadetta holding the reigns and Felix was just holding on to her for dear life.

It was definitely an improvement traveling on foot and they would pass the mountains leading to Garreg Mach in only a few days.

Bernadetta had donned the cloak Felix had gifted her and even at this altitude and considering her disdain for the cold, she seemed positively cozy.

“Why do you think was there a demonic beast anyway? Do you think they are back? I thought we killed them for good.” She sounded worried.

“It might be a leftover. They still pop up from time to time, beasts that live hidden for a while just to grow violent out of nowhere and attack the closest human settlements they find. I think we will see these for a while. No one knows just how many humans those who slither in the dark have experimented on.”

“That sounds so awful.”

“It is a reason to keep fighting.”

“Is that what you want? To keep traveling so you can challenge these monsters?” Bernadetta sounded worried and Cookie started to descend. It was getting late already and they would have to make camp for the night, prepare food, and let the Pegasus rest.

He meanwhile contemplated what answer he would give to Bernadetta. “When I started traveling I was looking for strong opponents. It didn’t matter what form they took on. Demonic beasts tend to be a pain, though. Hard to kill for a single person. I would much rather take my chances with a capable swordsman as my opponent. I might want to travel again to look for someone like that.”

Cookie landed at the foot of a mountain near a line of trees. The lower half of the mountain was covered in pines while the upper part was rocky and speckled with snow. Before she dismounted, Bernadetta turned towards him and from the look in her eyes, Felix knew that he had said the wrong thing.

“Stop staring at me like that. I already promised you that I won’t leave you behind again.” How could he after finding out about, well, her feelings for him? He still wasn’t sure that she would appreciate living the life of a traveler but now that he had spent enough time with her these last few weeks, he knew that her attitude towards the outdoors had changed.

Bernadetta set to hunting while Felix collected wood for a fire and Cookie guarded their belongings. Things were much easier when they could divide their tasks like this. Bernadetta caught a rabbit and – while apologizing to it profusely for killing it – handed it to Felix so he could gut it while she prepared the pot and the other ingredients.

They had a crackling fire and a simmering soup in no time. Cookie was grazing nearby. He had more of a taste for lush meadows and wildflowers than he did for the plants growing up in the mountains but the energy he had exerted to get them this far needed to be replenished.

Bernadetta hummed her favorite melody while stirring the pot with Felix sitting right next to her. At first he had thought she just made the melodies up as she went but after hearing them a few times he was now certain they were actual songs. Overtaken by a sudden curiosity, he just had to ask. 

“What’s that song you keep humming?”

Bernadetta let out a short squeal, stopping her stirring for a moment so she could give Felix a very flustered look.

“You listened to me? Well, uhm, it’s… a song about a person and their Pegasus. Or wyvern I guess, could be either. It’s pretty popular in the Empire. The former Empire, I mean. You haven’t heard it before?”

“I haven’t. Would you sing it for me?” He would take any chance he got to make Bernadetta sing for him. It had been a while since the last time.

“Oh! You want me to teach you the song? I guess I could do that.”

“I’m not sure about you teaching me. I just want to listen.”

Bernadetta crossed her arms over her chest. She gave him one of those not-quite-serious-frowns that just sort of looked like she was pouting. “No fair! If I teach you the song, you will have to sing it with me! I’m not suffering through this embarrassment alone.”

“I’m not good at singing with others.” He knew because he had tried. Or rather, their professor had made him sing in the choir a few times. Felix was still convinced that it had been a subtle way of punishment whenever he had been overdoing his sword training.

“Come on, it it will just be the two of us! And you know, I’m not good at singing, either. I just like to do it whenever I’m working on something. Alright, let me teach you the song. Listen well!

_Come, my friend, carry me high_  
_Come, my friend, into the blue sky_  
_leave the world behind_  
_and chase the white clouds_  
_We’re soaring, you and I_

_Come, my friend, let us chase the moon_  
_It is so dark, it will be daybreak soon_  
_The wind may be cold_  
_And taste like fresh snow_  
_We’re fighting, you and I_

_Come, my friend, arrows are unkind_  
_Come, my friend, I won’t leave you behind_  
_In the grass below_  
_Crimson flowers bloom_  
_We’re falling, you and I_ ”

Going by Bernadetta’s description and the melody alone, Felix would never have guessed that the lyrics would be quite this tragic, becoming darker gradually until it was clear that the singer and their mount were about to fall to their deaths. Were all popular songs in the former Empire quite this morbid? Still, he enjoyed the song and especially listening to Bernadetta’s singing.

“Now we sing it both!”

Felix made a face as if she had just asked him to eat a sugar cube. “I already told you I’m not singing.”

“Please? Just the first verse? I never get to hear you sing.”

“That’s because-” Bernadetta really was giving him the puppy eyes now. Where had she even learned to do that? He wasn’t even much of a dog person, he preferred cats. Well, they were completely alone here. He supposed he could make one single exception. Instead of finishing his sentence, he sighed. “Okay, fine. But only this once. Never ask me to do this again.”

The pure joy in Bernadetta’s expression almost made the embarrassment he was about to experience worth it. But only almost.

She sang the first verse for him once more and he did his best to memorize both the lyrics and the melody. After she was done, instead of continuing with the second verse, she repeated the first and he joined her. He was quiet, doing his best to let his own voice disappear beneath hers and the sounds of their crackling fire. His eyes were drawn to the light of the flame as if that helped him not thinking too deeply about this moment and just take it in.

Another repetition of the first verse and he was still singing with her. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad. Bernadetta had started stirring the pot again, adding the clinking and scraping of a spoon against iron to their background sounds. Then, suddenly, Bernadetta’s voice disappeared completely and all he could hear was his own. He hadn’t noticed but at some point during the song he had become louder.

Part of him felt like Bernadetta had done this on purpose, leading him on with a false sense of security by wanting them to “sing together” when actually she just wanted him to sing for her. She was much more mischievous than she let on. He glared at her but did finish the verse.

Bernadetta, the little imp, was giving him her most innocent smile, offering some applause for his performance.

“Clap as much as you like because this was the last time I agreed to this.”

“It wasn’t so bad, was it? I think your singing is nice! And remember that time we were at the inn and asked me to sing- mpf”

He had wanted to tell her to shut up but as he had learned very recently: kissing her worked, too. She was only surprised for a moment before she reciprocated, throwing had arms around his neck to pull him closer.

“Hey, uhm, I’ve been meaning to ask,” she said as the broke apart again, “are we, uhm, you know, a thing now? Officially?”

“A thing?”

“Yeah! Like, are we… in a relationship?”

The soup was still cooking. This time it was Felix who took the spoon and started stirring. It had to be done soon, right? A simple rabbit soup couldn’t take this long. Next to him Bernadetta was still waiting, even if he had made it a point to not answer her question. It should have been obvious without him having to spell it out, shouldn’t it? He wasn’t good at this sort of thing and if Bernadetta was a fan of romance novels, she probably wanted something rediculous like him composing a poem to declare his love for her. Still, it didn’t seem like she would give up so soon, patiently waiting for him to answer, never taking her eyes off him. She had to know that this type of thing unnerved him.

“We… we might be.”

“That’s not an answer. It’s either yes or no.” She was silent for a moment and then murmured a barely audible “Bernie sneak attack.”

The next thing he knew, he was being pushed, the momentum forcing him down, landing on the ground on his back Bernadetta leaning over him.

The look she gave him was rather intense and he ended up averting his eyes while he felt his face warm up under her gaze. She really wasn’t going to give up until she had what she wanted, was she? Then again, it was nice to have the Bernadetta from right before the war’s end back. The one that had followed him around without a hint of fear just to see him smile. It was perhaps his favorite side of hers.

“Do I really have to say it?”

“Please. I want to hear it. I spent so long thinking that you don’t love me back.”

That was true. Perhaps, he reasoned with himself, he owed it to her. He didn’t want to repeat his mistake, even if it meant having to jump over his own shadow.

“Alright, fine. Yes, we are together.”

The smile she gave him in return reminded him that, even if he had not seen this future for himself, this was indeed what he wanted. And now that he had it, he did not want to lose it again.

* * *

Felix wasn’t quite sure what expected them when they finally arrived at Garreg Mach. Seteth, who had been busy with restoration efforts, welcomed them both and assured them that they were welcome to stay as long as they wished, only asking for their help in rebuilding and keeping the monastery safe in return. It seemed like an easy enough task and they both were given a new room as the student dorms would hopefully soon see actual students again. Seteth only seemed mildly amused when they insisted that they would only need one room but kept his comments to himself.

Fall had arrived at Garred Mach and with the change of the season came the rain. A light drizzle had turned into a heavy shower withing minutes, forcing knights and the clergy alike to seek shelter within the halls of the monastery.

Felix had already been inside when the rain had started, staring out of the window. His eyes weren’t focusing on anything in particular and he listened to the pitter patter of heavy waterdrops knocking against solid stone.

“Oh hey Felix, there you are!” A familiar presence appeared by his side, wrapping their arms around him. He didn’t need to look to know who it was. “I’ve been looking for you all over. What are you doing?”

Bernadetta’s presence was comforting but not enough to distract him from his thoughts. “Something I used to scold others for. Thinking about things that no longer matter.”

Rain like this, heavy and unforgiving and washing away anything in its path, reminded him of the aftermath of the battle on Gronder Field. It was useless to think about it now. The things that happened on that fateful day could never be changed. So why reminisce? Why continue regretting and wondering if he could have done something different, if he could have done better? He hated lingering in the past. He had always berated Dimitri for it. But every so often, unbidden, the memories resurfaced. The last time he had seen Dimitri. The look of his childhood friends, fighting by the king’s side. They had all been there except him. And now he was the only one left to pick up the pieces but didn’t know if he ever would be able to.

Bernadetta was quiet, simply offering him her company, as if she knew what he had implied just now. He appreciated it.

“I may want to leave again. I’m too restless to stay in one place for too long.” he could already imagine the look Bernadetta was probably giving him right now. Worried and fearful that he was about to steal away in the dead of night.

To ease her fears, he looked at her – being met with the exact expression he had predicted – and asked: “Would you accompany me?”

He didn’t need to wait for an answer. “I will go with you wherever you want. Even if it’s scary places. It will be just you, me and Cookie.”

“You’re keeping him?” Changing the topic was perhaps not so bad. It was way too easy to get lost in the many corridors of one’s mind if you weren’t careful.

Bernadetta gave him a broad smile as she nodded. “Yes! Seteth offered to give me flying lessons in exchange for me illustrating his fables. They’re really good, you should give them a read!”

“I will consider it. I suppose that means we will have to postpone our departure until you’re somewhat decent at flying.”

“Hey! I did get us to the monastery, didn’t I?” She had indeed gotten them here. And she had also made Felix feel sick on more occasions than one. Still, with a little training, there was no doubt she would be able to master it. Considering that she also had a rank in lances, she could even become a proper Pegasus knight if she wanted.

“Hey Felix?” Bernadetta’s tone had changed suddenly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to heard what she was about to say next. “I just wanted to tell you… it’s alright to be sad. And to miss your friends. You don’t have to keep all of that down or push it away. You’re one of the strongest people I know and you have a beating heart beneath your hard shell. Feeling pain won’t make you weak.”

Felix didn’t answer at first. The rain was still casting a wet blanket on all of Garreg Mach, relentless and cold.

“It was never my goal to push anything down. What I wanted to do was to leave the past behind me. I never managed. Not with Glenn and not with my former friends. I trained every day and accumulated strength and even so, I couldn’t defeat their corpses. I can’t even ask for their forgiveness because they’re dead.”

Bernadetta only hugged him tighter, making him wonder if he was perhaps trying to suffocate him. “You know, that does still sound like you trying to push it away. And if you try to push away feelings like this, they will push back. But if you let yourself be sad, if you let that feeling wash over you, it will be easier to move on afterwards. At least, that’s my experience. That and keeping the memory of those I loved and who are no longer here close to my heart.”

Felix wasn’t sure if he could do that. It just wasn’t how he dealt with his problems. Still, there was wisdom to be found in Bernadetta’s words. She had her own corpses to fight and the way she did it was very different but no less valuable to hear about. He supposed that he could allow himself a concession now and then.

“Thank you, Bernadetta. I’m glad that you are here.”

He meant it. And he finally answered her death-grip by embracing her as well.

* * *

_Even after the war's end, skirmishes continued to break out across Fodlan. Heavily burdened by his decision not to stand with the Kingdom during the war, Felix abandoned his title. He traveled the land making a living with his sword and seeking battle as if he had a death wish. During these travels he had a chance encounter with Bernadetta who had fled from her parents’ estate. Determined to bring her to a safer place, Felix offered to escort her to Garreg Mach. During their journey, the two ended up confessing their feelings for one another. They arrived that the monastery and helped with rebuilding it for a while but then vanished one day, traveling together once more. The couple got along smoothly, Felix inspiring Bernadetta to become a braver individual while she reminded him that there was more in life than bloodshed. It is said that eventually, after having seen enough of the world, the two settled down and led a peaceful life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my work! Honestly this fic has a target audience of exactly one person, me. I realize that I put as many tropes in it as I reasonably could, mostly because they're fun and I was having fun writing this. Still, if you did end up enjoying it, I'm glad!
> 
> (also, can we please take a moment to imagine the absolute clown run that this Byleth must have had? Recruiting only Felix and Bernadetta, making Felix the dancer and then never using him as a dancer and barely ever making use of Bernadetta’s personal skill. Wasting faith experience by making Felix do choir practice and then never teaching him faith magic. They were probably busy just vibing and catching tons of fish)


End file.
